Thoughts & opinion from the Southampton vineyard team
Sometimes, it is with a glass of wine, seated on a balcony and gazing across the ocean at the sunset, as the colours change and reflect on the still water.
Sometimes it is banging our head against the wall and crying out, “why, why, why!??”
Sometimes it is merely that we choose to ignore the words of Thomas Jefferson – “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt”
Welcome to the ramblings of those with too much time on their hands, and from some of those who have just enough time on their hands.
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When Life Gets Turned Upside Down
by Matt Hyam on 26th January, 2012
How do I write a blog about cancer invading our lives? What an evil, hateful thing it is!
What can I say? Is it the thought of being without my wife for the rest of my life? Is it the fear and distress that she feels? Is it the boys growing up without their mum?
When it is your family, it is so hard to see through it all. It is so hard to find God in the midst of it. I know that he is there but to actually make myself sit still long enough to experience Him is a whole other thing. Sitting still lacks distraction and makes you face things.
People have been amazing! Really amazing! The NHS are amazing! People who I hardly know have been fasting and praying daily for her. I mean, wow! Thank you so much.
Many of our friends who are not Christians are angry that God would allow this to happen to Di. I don’t have an answer. I’m not angry with God. I am really not. Maybe I am in denial? In theory I know that he is God and he can do what he wants to because he knows us and loves us more than anyone else ever could. I am very scared of the reality of that though.
In the last year, we have seen a number of people healed including one person raised from the dead. Wouldn’t it be amazing if she were healed? All those people would see that he is God… and I would have my wife back! Do I believe that he can heal Di? Definitely! Without shadow of a doubt! Do I believe that he will heal Di? I just do not know. I wish I could hear him, but I can’t.
Life just got really focused for us. What really matters? What is really significant? What counts? What is wood, hay and straw and what is gold, silver and costly stones (1 Cor 3)?
We are at the start of the fight now. I do not know how long it will last but I know who will win. I just do not know what the victory will actually look like.
Please keep praying.
Living Eulogies
by Matt Hyam on 30th November, 2011
I was shocked, as were most people, to hear of the suicide of Gary Speed this weekend.
I saw him on football focus, for goodness sake. He seemed fine then. But what do I know? Nothing, clearly.
The other thing that really surprised me, was the way that since his death, everyone who had ever met him was absolutely gushing in their praise of him - no one who knew him had anything bad to say about it.
He was a fantastic player, family man, friend, husband and manager. He was kind, generous and a man of integrity. He was an inspiration to so many.
The thing that I cannot get out of my head is, what if all these people had said all these things to him on Saturday, perhaps he would still be here today?
It’s been said that the worse thing about your own funeral is not being there to hear all the amazing things that people say about you.
Why wait until they are dead to say those things to someone?
Why wait until the person is gone to write all the amazing things that would go in their obituary?
Let’s say those things to one another now. Today. There may not be a tomorrow.
Why don’t we think about the things we would say about someone in their eulogy and tell them today. Let’s make sure that they know they are valued and loved and appreciated and wanted and needed and respected and admired. Today.
Imagine if we all did that, it would be amazing!
Shall we see?
I dare you!
by Matt Hyam on 8th November, 2011
John Wimber was asked, “How do you know when you are anointed to pray for the sick?”
“First of all”, he replied, “you get a rubbery feeling in your legs, often followed by intense perspiration, mostly from nervous anxiety. Next you can expect your tongue to feel very thick. This makes it difficult to say even your own name – which is fine, because your mind will have begun to feel so clouded that you will have difficulty even remembering your own name. When you start feeling these things you can feel really confident…”
(In other words, you never feel ready, you just feel nervous, anxious and ill-equipped!)
We had Alan Scott over last month from Causeway Coast Vineyard. What a fantastically humble guy. He was great. What a great church. They see 20-30 people come to Jesus every month and miracles on a daily basis. Wow. Crazy man!
Listening to him speak, though, it sounds so possible! Like we could all do it.
Er. You know. Like the Bible says!
As I listened to Alan, I think that the thing that came back to me again and again was that the only thing that they seem to do different is that they actually do it! They don’t just talk about “wouldn’t it be great if…” They actually do it.
As individuals, they pray for a lot of sick people and so they see a lot healed. Not everyone, but a lot.
As individuals, they model Jesus and tell people about him so they see a lot of people come to Jesus.
As individuals, they look ask God for words for people, then go and tell them, so they hear the voice of God a lot.
I know that if I do not pray for the sick, I will not see them healed.
I know that if I do not tell people about Jesus they will have trouble meeting him.
I know that if I do not ask for words and/or do not share them then people will hear his voice less.
So if I want certainties, then that’s the way to go about it.
But where is the fun in that?!!! That’s not an adventure. That’s not discipleship!
The thing is, I thing that we all want to get to where they are, but I think that we do not want to start where they started?
Let’s make a deal? Let’s agree that we will take every opportunity that comes our way.
- Let’s agree that every time we meet someone who is sick this week, we will ask if we can pray for them?
- Let’s agree that every time we are in a coffee shop this week, we will ask Jesus to speak to us about at least one person in there.
- Let’s agree that we will take an opportunity to tell one person about Jesus this week.
Who’s up for that?
Then we will come back next week and see how it all went.
Here is a tip – Jackie Pullinger said: “If we wait until we have enough we will never give. But if we give what we have, we will not only have enough, but we will have surplus”
Some things I am learning right now
by Matt Hyam on 21st July, 2011
When they switched off Karen’s machine at 3:11am on Monday 11th July, we all stood around the bed expecting something dramatic. Nothing happened…
…for SIX days!
I am not given to making bold claims but, even before they switched off the ventilator, I had a strong sense that we should be telling her to “wake up”. This is a somewhat strange thing to say to someone in a coma who has been declared all but dead and the surgeons are gathered waiting to take her organs around the country to various recipients. To be frank it felt weird and disrespectful.
But I did it anyway.
Really quietly.
I had been speaking at Bognor Vineyard Sunday morning about obeying Jesus, otherwise I think that I would have been more inclined to bottle it!
I really did feel like this was not her time to die and that she should wake up. Gradually, I began to hear more and more words from people who were saying exactly the same thing. My faith rose and I became more and more bold. Gunther and Ruth from Mercy Vineyard have been awesome and when I felt low on faith, they stepped in and bolstered it. Actually, so many people from so many churches have been amazing!
For five days we stated to her, in faith, that she would “wake up” and “come back” and that it was not her time. Sometimes I really felt like it and other times I just thought that I was a complete idiot and that I had gone so far out on a limb that I could never make it back alive.
Then, on the sixth day she opened an eye and blinked three times when we asked her.
Then on the seventh day, she stroked Tim’s hand.
Then on the eighth day, she started to open her other eye.
Then on the ninth day she reached out and held the picture of her son.
Then… one day soon I expect to see her walk out of there totally healed.
This is a story about me, rather than about Karen – although she, or more like what God is doing with her is the real story.
Why am I telling you a story about me then?
Because this is a story about following Jesus. I think that I am learning more about God’s faithfulness and about obedience and about faith (spelled R-I-S-K) than any other time in my life. I have prayed more than ever. I have seen God do some more amazing than ever (and we are nowhere near finished yet).
Prayer does work!
God is faithful.
Sometimes we need to step out and do something crazy.
Sunday was one of the best meetings that I can remember for a long time in our church. Why? Because the whole church has spent the week interacting with and trusting God and completely focussed on him. People have been telling their friends about it and including them more than ever before. Someone said to me that they felt more sense of “purpose” than ever before. When we came together it was like a champagne cork ready to pop! That is how it should be, 6 days, 22 hours of worship and coming together out of this to celebrate.
We have seen God bring someone back from death over the last week. What if… just, what if… we prayed and lived like this all the time?!
Five a day
by Matt Hyam on 16th June, 2011
A few weeks ago I was in a Leaders’ meeting and a lady in the seat next to me leaned over and said, “When I look at you I keep being reminded of a saying that we have – ‘you can count the apples on a tree, but you can’t count the trees in an apple’”
As you can imagine, my response was a slightly politer version of “what on earth are you talking about?!!!”
She explained.
You can count the apples on a tree. It would take a long time and you would need to be incredibly bored to even attempt to do so, but, hey, it can be done.
However, within an apple are the seeds from which could come several trees, from which could come several apples, from which would come several seeds from which… (You get the point).
That made sense!
Often, we get drawn into trying to count in order to feel of value. Is our church big enough? Is our housegroup big enough? Is our ministry big enough? Did enough people show up? Is our income enough?
The thing is, that is just counting apples.
The two churches that received unreserved praise from Jesus in Revelation are Smyrna and Philadelphia. These are also the two smallest, poorest churches in the region. Ironically, the two largest, most “successful” churches are the two which received unreserved criticism – Sardis and Laodicea.
I’m not saying big is bad and small is good. I am just saying that Jesus, it seems, has a different measure of success.
He appears to be more interested in the seeds in the apple than the apples on the tree.