Thoughts & opinion from the southampton vineyard team

jubilee schmubilee

by Matt Hyam on 24 Nov 2008

Jubilee.  How’s it going to work?  Is it going to work?  Is it just going to be a bit of tokenism to keep us from feeling guilty for a year and we can live on the memories for a few more years.

Honestly?  I really do not know!

Anyone who saw the news last week could not have missed the stuff about baby P.  How can anyone do that to a 17-month old child?  How can a human being be capable of such incredible evil?  How can we live in a world where things like this can happen?  My youngest son is 17-months old.  I have been holding him that much tighter, kissing him that much more often and appreciating all his crazy little “characteristics” so much more, for the last week or so.  How can anyone be capable of that?  How could it happen? 

I cannot begin to comprehend what kind of person is capable of this.  Or what kind of life could shape a person to be capable of this.  There is a saying, “hurt people hurt people”.  How much hurt makes someone do that?!

The only thing that I do know is that our God has called us to be salt and light.  He has sent us to the broken-hearted; to heal the sick; to set the captives free.

We just cannot do nothing.

We just cannot sit in meetings singing “Jesus is my boyfriend” songs and do nothing.

We have to do something.

We have to.

We have to go to the broken-hearted and let God heal them.

That broken-hearted person who gets healed may just be the one who was going to turn into the person who tortures to death a 17-month-old child.

So, you see, Jubilee has to work.  It just has to.  Otherwise what is the point?  What are we doing?

There’s a line from a Bruce Cockburn song, that U2 nicked – “I’m gonna kick the darkness til it bleeds daylight!”

Underneath everything; that is what jubilee is really about.

remind me, What are we here for again?

by Matt Hyam on 23 Oct 2008

So I was at a meeting the other week with a famous guy that I have never heard of. He was pretty good, actually. He really made me think and I have not stopped thinking about it since.

He said (and he was using BROAD brush-strokes) that the church has four main functions:

1. Worship (meetings, prayer meetings, devotional life etc etc)
2. Community
3. Mission
4. Discipleship

He reckoned that the emphasis of the church has been on "worship" and that the other three fit in with that. In other words, community happens AT MEETINGS, discipleship is listen to a sermon AT MEETINGS and mission is bringing your friends TO MEETINGS.

He argues (and I agree with him) that the emphasis should be on mission. He argues (and I agree with him) that if this is the case then the other three just happen.

Think about it. When you go on a mission trip, you don't have to tell people to pray and you don't have to tell people to work out community and you know that you are learning throughout the whole thing.

After all, that is how Jesus did it.

So, we are here for a reason. We have a purpose.

I may be wrong about a lot of things but I can guarantee that this reason is not to have meetings!

I read an e-mail this week about a crime that was committed in this country some years ago. It has disturbed me so much that I will not even tell you what it is about because I don't want anyone to feel the way that I do now. But it served as a stark and powerful reminder to me that we live in an evil world and that we are the light of that world and that we are the hope of the world.

So, like I said, we're here for a reason. We have a purpose...

Lover or liars?

by Matt Hyam on 25 Sept 2008

When I first encountered Jesus, I was overwhelmed with love.  In the words of Depeche Mode I, “found new life, fell in love with everything.”

I think that is the way that it is meant to be.  Isn’t it?

I remember the excitement that I felt over meeting brothers and sisters from all over the world whom I never even knew existed before.

Over time, I grew and eventually reached the point where I knew everything and so no longer do I have that abandoned love for my brothers and sisters because some of them are “wrong”. 

As I have grown a bit more I began to realise that, perish the thought, I was wrong about some things.

Now, I realise that we are all wrong.  Yes, there is objective truth, but, no, I have never met anyone with an objective view of that truth.  Sure, there are those “prophectic” people who claim to speak the very words of God, but, frankly, I am not sure that I believe them.  Certainly not all of them.

So, back to love.

Isn’t love what its all about?

Wasn’t it love that caused the Father to create us?

Wasn’t it love that caused him to call a people to himself through whom he would save the world

Wasn’t it love that caused him to send his son to save humanity?

Wasn’t it love that caused him to save a wretch like me?

Isn’t it love that should compel us to serve one another and to reach to the poor and the lost and the lonely and the oppressed.

Isn’t it love that should motivate us to forgive each other and to prefer one another’s needs?

Does Jesus himself not pray that we would be known by the way that we love each other?

As I read the things said about Todd Bentley on the web, written by those who say they love Jesus, I just want to cry.  How can you say those things about anyone and think it is okay?

I feel such a deep, deep sadness. 

As I look at situations close to home where those who say they love Jesus, cling to bitterness and unforgiveness and seek to punish others or take revenge on others for their hurt, I cannot understand it.

If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. – 1 John 4:20

Love.  Its meant to be about love.

Not who is the most right.  Not who is the most holy.  Not who is the most pious.  Not who knows the Bible best.  Not who is the best at winning arguments.

Love.

If it is not about love, then we may as well pack up and go home, because we’re all liars.

why I hate pedestals

by Matt Hyam on 14 Sept 2008

I was shocked to hear some sad news this week.

I heard that Todd Bentley - the evangelist from the Lakeland revival - has filed for divorce with his wife and that a number of improprieties have come to light in terms of his behaviour, over some time.

I feel sad because, first, I think, "there but for the grace of God, go I".

I feel sad for his wife.

I feel sad because I think that so much of what his heart was for, is now discredited.

I feel angry because I see the two extremes in the church.

One one hand, those who had whole-heartedly embraced and accepted all that he did and said without reference to scripture. Who threw themselves into it all and allowed themselves to build a cult of personality. These people must be feeling like its all fallen apart around them and what can they believe.

On the other hand I see those who had literally referred to him as the devil and the things that they had said in the name of Jesus are, frankly, unbelievable and, honestly, they'd better come up with some AMAZING excuse before they have to give account to their Lord. These people must be rubbing their hands together shouting from the roof-tops "I told you so!"

Me?

I feel sad and angry (as I explained above) but it does not change anything for me. As I said when I went there I thought the teaching was really dodgy, I didn't hear much about Jesus and I did not like the style. But I was and am still convinced that it was God.

Man, if we wait for us to be perfect before God will use us then we are in SERIOUS trouble!

I hate people on pedestals. Hate it.

I hear about the guy from Hillsongs who wrote a song about his terminal cancer and everyone's singing it everywhere and then it comes out that he was lying and he does not have terminal cancer! Even his family did not know!

I hate pedestals.

Let me spell it out.

IT IS ABOUT JESUS!

If we put superstars up in front of Jesus then we are obscuring the view. When God moves in power, it should leave us with a clearer vision of our saviour. If revival brings a whole host of new superstars who (whether with a pure heart or not) become famous and wealthy on the back of it, then we have SERIOUSLY missed the point. So, when you go to see the music leader from Lakeland on his "tour of the UK", ask yourself why?!

I hate pedestals!

There is only room for one person on the pedestal and that is Jesus. Not superstar evanglelists, not superstar musicians, not superstar preachers, not superstar pastors. Just Jesus.

When you see someone on that pedestal, if you love them, you'd better pray for them to get down because being put in the place of Jesus when you are not Jesus is only going end one way.

So, lets pray for Todd Bentley and then lets get on with fixing our eyes on Jesus, healing the sick, casting out demons, raising the dead, setting the captives free, loving the lonely, feeding the hungry and being part of the Rule of God coming.

 

Normal church life?

by Matt Hyam on 19 Aug 2008

Its been a while.

Thanks for being patient.

I have just come back from "camp". This is a watersports camp called "Aquasports" (the clue is in the title) that we are involved in every year. I was looking forward to this year's camp for two reasons; first, I forgot that we live in England and had some romantic notion of hot, sunny, windless days by the lake. We almost had that, apart from the torrential rain and the cold, 40mph winds!

The other reason I was excited was because I reckoned that I would have loads of chances to pray for people for healing. I did. Which was not too astonishing as it is easy to be bold on a Christian camp. What was astonishing was the number who were healed. I think that I prayed for maybe 15 people, of whom NINE were healed! That's crazy! It all just feels normal now - just like that's what happens when you pray for people!

None of them where in "meetings", all were just "as and when" it came up. I am awaiting confirmation on some of them, but one was a broken bone in the foot that has since been confirmed as "fully healed", another was a prolapsed disc that stopped hurting when prayed for, then an arthritic knee which has not hurt since, but I am still waiting to see about whether that is healed.

Normal church life? Perhaps it should be. I really am not making a big deal about it and I am certainly not going to put on more meetings, but I feel so full of faith now that sometimes I am almost not surprised when someone gets better - almost!

Two weeks ago, I felt challenged to pray for a friend who is blind, I ended up having to chase him up a hill carrying three bags of shopping and laying hands on him on a street corner. He wasn't healed. The thing is though, it was not embarassing. It used to be, but it is not now. I just asked if I could have another go next time I saw him, and he said that would be fine.

I'll tell you what I want. What I really, really want...

I want a, I want a..

I want to see everyone doing this. I want this to become completely normal church life for Southampton Vineyard. Not our focus, not even a something we teach on, have meetings for, or give much platform to; but just something that God is doing, all the time, in the background as part and parcel or normal church life!

I can't heal anyone! Neither can you. It HAS to be God!

In March, God spoke to me and said that our church should be known, not because of kids work or teaching or community, but because God is there! Seems like its happening.

So, how's everyone else doing with the challenge to pray for 100 people?

i dare you!

by Matt Hyam on 8th July 2008

Right. I have been back from Florida for two weeks now.

One of the things that God said to me whilst I was there was to pray for 100 people for healing and then let's talk!

In that time I have prayed for 25 people, specifically for healing (I don't mean in "Ministry times", coz that'd be easy to do 100). Of those 25, 6 seem to have been healed or experienced partial healing or the symptoms have gone. (Others seem to have experienced significant emotional/spiritual healing and this is absolutely amazing to see and life-changing, but for the purposes of keeping it quantifiable and subjective and not being open to accusations of psychological mumbo jumbo, we'll just talk about the physical healings here).

1 out of 4 ain't bad. Wow! No one is more surprised than I!

One of the disturbing things for me is that people keep thinking that there is something special about me and asking me to pray for them to be healed. Now, if God has told them to do that, then that's fine and dandy, but if they think that this is something to with me then I am afraid that they will disappointed. Very disappointed.

Why am I seeing so many healed? Well, my best guess is that I am actually praying for more people to be healed. That is always a good start. Also, I just feel more expectant and full of faith (spelled R-I-S-K, remember) so I am just looking for opportunities.

Actually, last week, two people were healed at our service and I had nothing to do with praying for either of them, so there you go.

So, here's my challenge to you.

Pray for 100 people to be healed. Here's the rules:

Rule #1 - If someone is sick, take the opportunity to pray for them for healing. Wherever you are, whenever you can.

Good rules, eh?

I'm serious. Go for it. I have NEVER had anyone refuse prayer. Ever. Sure, you're gonna look stupid if they don't healed... or maybe you won't. You'll probably make them feel loved and cared about. Anyway, if you did look stupid, so what? John Wimber used to talk about a man with a sandwich board that said "I'm a fool for Christ" on the front and on the back it said, "who's fool are you?"

So, there you are. Who's fool do you want to be?

So, take up the challenge! Pray for 100 people for healing and then let's talk. Let me know how you are doing along the way, though.

Come on, I dare you.

Shake Rattle and roll?

by Matt Hyam on 27 Jun 2008

Well. I returned from Florida on Monday morning. I went to see what was going on with the "Florida outpouring".

I went because God told me (long story that I won't bore you with here). I knew that I needed it. All these years of focussing on the poor and justice and disciplines and "our" response to God and walking out discipleship have left me too "self-sufficient". I totally believe in all those things - more than ever, actually, but I needed God to seriously break into my life and recapture my heart.

The question that everybody asks me with excited expression is, "so how was it?

Honestly?

I was bored.

I thought there was a great deal of hype.

I thought that there was a lot of dodgy theology.

I heard a lot about "the revival" and very little about Jesus.

I thought that it was a very individualistic gopsel that I heard and I heard nothing about the poor or about justice.

BUT. and it is a BIG "but"; God is definately in it! It is the real thing. I saw loads healed and miracles and even though I sat for six hours bored, I came away changed.

For me, it was the times away from the meetings where I saw and experienced God's power and felt his "presence".

I have come home and I feel excited about Jesus again. I know he has changed something. I actually feel like a Christian again! I have had so many oppurtunities to pray for people - most of them outside the church. I feel faith for healing again. In our housegroup meeting we experienced the power of God like I have not known in years - and we hadn't even been singing any songs! (Obviously God the Holy Spirit has not read all the teaching on "worship"). This morning, I prayed for someone who was deaf - and they were healed!!!!!! But I'll let them tell you about that...

I listened to Loz's talk form last week - listen to it; now!! I felt that God spoke to me about Acts 2, wilsts he was speaking about what happened after Pentecost. Let me quote it:

"And the disciples said to each other, "this is great! Lets come back every day and do this"

No they didn't. They started living it out, caring for the poor, loving each other, sharing their lives in common and slowly, slowly, changing the world.

I feel that God has told me to pray for 100 and then we can talk about it. I am on 12 now and more than half have been out on the streets and, so far, one has been healed and another awaiting confirmation. I tell you what though. I am taking EVERY opportunity I get to pray for people now.

So, I want to see God's power more and more. Yeah BABY! (technical, theological term)

Let's get out there this time, hey?

a good ol' knees up?

by Matt Hyam on 03 June 2008

I think that the biggest regret of my whole life is the "Toronto Blessing". It started, for us, in May 1994 and we had an incredible time. There was a lot of laughter, a lot of power, a lot of people being "blessed" and a lot of weird stuff. No question in my mind that it was God.

But.

What did we do with it? Honestly, I look back and ask the question, "where is the fruit?" I know that, for some people, it was a truly life-changing time but in reality, none of those who came to Christ, in our church, stuck around and, if the truth be told, we just did more meetings.

That was all we did.

More meetings where we could "get blessed".

More meetings where we could feel really good about ourselves.

More meetings.

I went to Toronto in Dec 1994 and I was there for a week. You have to understand that, at the time, the Toronto Airport Vineyard was literally the biggest tourist attraction in Toronto. You would think that given this amazing move of God taking place and people coming from all over the world to see it, it would have impacted the city.

We did not meet one person in the whole time we were there, who even had any idea of this thing taking place.

I remember walking out of the last meeting, where people were all over the floor and weeping and laughing, and looking back at a man in a wheelchair who sat there, looking slightly confused and sad, because he seemed like just an observer. I felt God say to me, "it is for people like this that I am doing this."

I kept hearing the "River of God" from Revelation being taught. "This is the river of God that we are experiencing". But no one seemed to mention that the punchline from that passage is that "The leaves of the trees are for the healing of the nations".

That's the point.

The healing of the nations.

Not for the church to have a good ol' knees up.

I'll never forget hearing Jackie Pullinger (who lives and works with the poorest and the least and the addicts and the prostitutes in Hong Kong) at the "Doing the Stuff Conference" a few years back.

"We heard about the laughter", She said. "We heard about the laughter and we waited. We heard about people going to the laughter and we waited for someone to bring the laughter to us. We thought that was what it was for. That the laughter would come to those in tears. But it never came."

Honestly. I think we missed the point.

Well, I did, anyway.

If I ever had a chance to experience a powerful move of God like that again, I would want it to make a difference to those around me, to the city and to the world. I would want to see justice result and I would want to see the lonely being loved and the hungry being fed and the oppressed being set free.

Isn't that what the Kingdom of God is about?

So, here we are. fourteen years on and we have been given another chance.

Please God, drive us out among the hurting.

Please God, let there be healings on the streets; in the hospitals; the schools; the old people's homes; the factories; the shops; the coffee shops and the bars.

Please God, let there be people coming to you on the streets; in the hospitals; the schools; the old people's homes; the factories; the shops; the coffee shops and the bars.

Please God, let justice result. Let the hungry be fed; the lonely be loved; the oppressed set free.

Please God, don't let us be so self absorbed that we forget who it was that you came for; who it was that you spent time with; among whom you performed all the miracles.

Please God, don't let us just do more meetings.

Please God, don't let us waste it.

Please God.

the most important thing

by Matt Hyam on 18 May 2008

I was thinking this week.

Someone was telling me that they were in a group that was having some heavy discussions about apologetics.

That's a funny word, isn't it? It always sounds as though you are sorry about something. Perhaps we should be.

Now, a few years ago, there was nothing that I loved more than a good old argument about this and that and why we are right and everyone else is wrong. As a student, that was all we were ever taught - Acts 17 - Paul in Athens - how to argue out your faith.

I have to say that nowadays, I don't enjoy it anything like as much. Actually, it makes me very uncomfortable.

First, there are only two occasions in the entire book of Acts where Paul does seek to argue out his faith and both of those are the least effective events in his entire ministry. A "few" believed, "some" believed but most didn't. Contrast this with the language used in other times - "Most", "many" "all" believed. This is the best we can do?!

Secondly, we are in real danger of disappearing up our academic, metaphorical backsides if we get caught up in all the details and arguments of it all.

I once heard of one of the most reknowned theologians in the world visiting a Seminary (that's Bible College to you and I) in his old age and addressing the students. At the end they were given a chance to ask questions of him. One of the students put up his hand and said, "what is the single most important piece of theology that you have learned over all these years"

The theologian thought for a little while, then replied, "Jesus loves me, this I know, the Bible tells me so".

That'll do me. The rest is details.

So, here we are then...

by Matt Hyam on 29 Apr 2008

So.

I'm back from the USA (which went very well, by the way) and we are back from India (which also went very, very well).

We've had some time to process it all.

We've had the church weekend.

And here we are.

The Thornhill Mission group has gone. When I say "gone", they are actually still in exactly the same place as they were but they are now, in most respects, separate from Southampton Vineyard. We'll still see them once every six weeks on a Sunday and they will obviously still be our friends, and yet...

...there does seem to be a big hole where they all used to be.

Maybe it feels as though these guys have gone off on an exciting adventure and we are left here at home trying to cope without them?

We know that God is in this.

We know that He has more than provided for us.

We know that God has told us that this is a new adventure for us too.

We know that we all needed to take this step.

But...

we can still feel sad and we can still feel a little scared.

I know that I do.

What you did for the least of these...

by Matt Hyam on 26 March 2008

On Wednesday, I fly off to the USA for the kingdom to the margins conference at the Desert Vineyard, Lancaster, California.  Please do not be jealous because Lancaster is really not the most beautiful place you’ve ever been.  Set aside all images of beaches, glamour and palm trees and think more along the lines of Milton Keynes in the desert, without the charm!

I get to speak at this conference – which sounds really grand and makes me seem like I am something.  Matt Hyam – “International Speaker”. In fact, I just happen to be good mates with the guy who’s organising the conference, so that gets me through the door! 

I am speaking on “Ethical Consumerism”, although I am not entirely sure that “consumerism” can be ethical, so I am calling my talk “Ethical Lifestyles”.  I am pretty nervous about this because, first of all, I feel a little bit like I’m going to be a lamb standing before wolves (the North American church is not exactly renowned for its care for the environment and its concern for fair-trade issues); but also, because I feel a great deal of weight of responsibility here.  The National Director for the Vineyard (US) will be there.  I have a chance to really make a difference. 

I feel passionately about this stuff. 

I feel passionately that we cannot carry on living the way that we do at the cost of others, especially the marginalised, the oppressed and the poor. 

I feel passionately that we cannot consume the world’s resources and leave other without or endangered

I feel passionately that we cannot buy things that are made by slaves or oppressed people and thus keep them in slavery or oppressed.

I feel passionately that we cannot be the reason that people suffer. 

I feel passionately that my financial security cannot be dependent on oppressive regimes succeeding, or illegal drugs or pornography being sold.

I feel passionately that this is not peripheral to our faith. 

I feel passionately that this is not a distraction to our mission. 

I feel passionately, without question or doubt, that this is an integral part of following Jesus.

Jesus said that what we did (or did not do) for the least of these, we did (or did not do) for him.  That is quite possibly, the scariest passage in all of scripture!  Think about it!

So, that’s why I am going to America and leaving my beautiful wife and my beautiful children for a week.  Because I have the chance to tell people about why I believe that Jesus feels passionately about these things. 

If I do this well, and can change people’s minds or make people think about things that they have never thought of before, and that starts being something that people then put into practice in their lives and their churches, then it could seriously affect thousands of lives worldwide.  If I do it badly, then I could confirm all the worst prejudices that people have and leave them more entrenched in unhelpful views than when I started.

It’s probably nothing like that extreme and I am probably being melodramatic and more than a little arrogant to think that it all rests on my shoulders.  I am just telling you how I feel.  None of this is helped by the fact that I have actually not spoken in a public meeting since the beginning of December and I am only allowed 20 minutes to speak.  TWENTY minutes – that’s barely time for the jokes!

Pray for me.  Pray that I can be focussed on trying to be obedient and not on trying to make a name for myself and not on trying to sell copies of my book.  Pray that I can really make a difference.

Please.

storms, change and new beginnings

by Matt Hyam on 18 Mar 2008

In the words of the great philosopher, Garth (Wayne’s World), “We fear change”.  But the reality is that a change is gonna come.  It has to.  I miss my boy being a baby, but if, at four, he was still like a baby then there would be a serious problem.  Change, I am afraid, is here to stay.

So here we are.  We’ve just come back from a fairly disastrous sabbatical, feeling more stressed, more tired and less equipped to do this job than ever before, and in 6 weeks time, we say goodbye to half our leadership team, including Duncan and Emma, who have been our associate pastors for ten years, and Rob and Kay, who have transformed our kids work into the most incredible operation!  On top of this, we watch three other couples go with them – all of them friends and great co-workers in this mission we find ourselves in.

They feel scared as they step into the unknown and try to obey God in ways that they have no models for.  They step out of financial security, spiritual security, emotional security and a brilliantly crafted kids’ work (which they shaped) and take a blind step of faith that God is in it all.

For us, new leadership team, new associate pastors, new kids work co-ordinators and a sleep-deprived pastor who does not really know which way is up at the moment.  Add to that the four independent prophecies about a storm coming.

Exciting, hey?!

But, actually, it is exciting.  Very exciting. 

One thing is for sure, we cannot just carry on. It will be a new start for Southampton Vineyard as well as for the Thornhill project.

I remember the early days when we did not have a clue what was going on or what to say to people or what advice to give or what the answers were.  Sure, we made some howlers, but, there was a scary need to be dependent on God.  If God did not do something then, frankly, nothing was actually going to happen!  And so God did do something – all the time!

It feels like that again. 

God, if you don’t do something that we are in trouble because we don’t have anything else!

connecting

by Kay Bowen on 12 Feb 2008

Today we had Lucy Moore from Barnabas over to do a training day in Godly play with the kids workers who work with 3-10 year olds. Lucy sure covered some ground by the sounds of it – you'll have to ask someone who was in 'cos I was out doing kidswork duty for the children who had parents being trained.

The age range was 5 months to 9 years, quite amazing that we managed to keep them all relatively well occupied and harmonious, looking back. I told the 'Daniel in the Lions' Den' story -  I saw Bob Hartman do it a few weeks back at the Children's Ministry conference, and it went down quite well. I really want to practice my storytelling and learn some more to tell in that engaging style – so different from the Godly Play way, and yet equally needed in children's lives.

I was thinking about Godly Play – as I do most waking hours – and the question people ask – Do the children really sit still and listen? Yes, of course they do. If you respect them, they will rise to it. They need solitude and space and reflection as much as any other of God's children. If we build it in, alongside 'exciting' drama and stories right from birth, it will be the norm for them, and maybe they will not need to re-find a way of connecting with God as adults. Maybe they will always have that connection, maybe as God intended for us.

way down east

by Kay Bowen on 21 Jan 2008

Two trips to London, two different worlds.  My blog followers will know that I won a night at a hotel in Knightsbridge just after Christmas, during which we sneaked a peek in the Harrods sale, where I am told the sales figures are £1 million an hour on the first few days.  I was interested to visit as my granny Alice had been in service in Knightsbridge nearly 100 years ago, and she used to do the shopping in Harrods, so it was curious and interesting to imagine her life in 1915 onwards, as she served for nearly 20 years before getting married at the relatively (then) late age of 30ish.

My second trip was to East London. Up until now I had not really much experience of London past Tower Bridge, apart from singing 'Way down East' at a Scout gangshow and a visit to friends in Bethanl Green last year. Oh, Greenwich and The Millenium Dome. However this was different and much more real.

I walked from top to bottom of the borough of Tower Hamlets, which is incredibly densely populated and poor and ethnically mixed and has all the flashing lights for being an area of multiple deprivation. People said good morning and one lady, in Stepney,  commented on liking my hat. I passed an advert that said 'You ain't born average' and I took that as a word from God on my journey.

I found Shadwell, and St Mary's church in particular, where I met Kathryn Copsey, who had agreed to have me 'shadow' her for a few days. She wrote 'From the Ground up' the book on theology of childhood that I would have written if I knew how to. Kathryn is the project leader of Curbs, which stands for Children in Urban Situations, I use their resource packs for Girls God Gang, but it is the ethos of the organisation which attracted me, totally starting from where children are and encouraging their spiritual growth, not filling them up with facts and knowledge. So, already, spending time with Kathryn was going to be encouraging! A community brunch club was starting that morning, there were only 3 takers, but they had great stories to tell. A godly older guy who had a total miracle to bring him back from death's door when he was a heroin addict – the kind of story that has your chin on your chest and you believing again. In a God who loves people and is interested in them.

Kathryn's husband is very involved through work and calling in working with people with mental illnesses, and I was honoured and blessed beyond imagining by attending the house group they run for about twelve people with mental illnesses, some also with learning disabilities. These guys REALLY love each other. I have never experienced love and openness and trust in a housegroup like this before. Just a very simple bible study and prayer time and the chance to talk and listen, hug and cry. I felt like I was accepted and belonged.

I did a lot of food preparation and washing up, which is good thinking and chatting time, and great to be with Kathryn and Nigel and think  'I wanna be like you!'  Heroes ( well, heroines) in the faith are sadly scarce on the ground around Southampton  but these were people who had poured out their all on behalf of the marginalized – inner city deprived kids and mentally ill adults and anyone in between – and thrived.

I have thought a lot lately about the abundant life – I have a sermon written in my journal nearly – but luckily for those of you likely to read this, you won't have to be subject to it. I had many examples of how not to live the abundant life – what it is not. That's easy, in the world around me there are many living the non abundant version. Here I have a couple really living in abundance as Jesus meant it to look, where pouring out yourself gives such joy.

Being away in another setting gave me the space and distance to consider the life we lead, and the work I do, and brought home to me how great my love is for working with these children I live amongst.  Girls God Gang was thin on the ground this week, but I have changed the day so that Rob can get home in time to look after Amy. I am trying a godly play style approach for the next 6 weeks, following a Curbs resource called 'The Big Picnic' which uses different meals to go through the great story of God. One of my lovely GGG girls told me: 'I know a story about a man who went on a boat with 2 of all these animals.' Hopefully she will know a few more stories in a few weeks time, but I know that the thing that matters most is that someone has loved her.

When things work out different...

by Matt Hyam on 10th Dec 2007

Well, I had it all beginning to take shape. I was beginning to see why I had come on sabbatical. I even had an outline for a book...

Then our human torpedo son came flying down a waterslide that was MUCH steeper than any of us realised and hit Di so hard that he broke her wrist. Proper broke it too!

So, now she is incapacitated. She can't change a nappy, pick up Sam or even take a shower on her own. So much for my contemplative time of reading and prayer and meditation and enjoying nature.

I cannot help feeling that God was not taken by surprise by all this and so he must have some kind of plan in all this. Whatever it is, it means we will be dependent on others for help. It means we are not going to be wondering around the wilds of New Zealand as a family and it probably means that Di will not be diving with Dolphins.

Yesterday I was speaking at the Vineyard West Auckland. The director of Tear Fund New Zealand was there and he showed a short video about Darfur.

When you think about it that way, we're not suffering at all. Not even a little bit.

So, how do we respond when things work out different from the way we thought? Have they gone wrong or does God have something else..?

I wonder...

by Kay Bowen on 28 Nov 2007

After a long break, I was back at the Godly Play classroom in Abingdon.

It felt good to walk into the room. Calm and peaceful, after a frenetic early morning start shipping girls off to school and nursery and sitting in a traffic jam to Winchester. There were 12 of us, which is a good number for Godly play to function well. We were all seasoned 'players' as this was a development course, studying some of the new stories which have been written and trialled to 'fill the gaps' in the old testament 'Great Story'. The godly play we do in the Autumn term covers Creation to the Exile, in a very broad brush approach - and these new stories provide some details. The life of Joseph, Abraham, Sarai, Moses, Ruth, Elijah, and Ezekial (who doesn't often get much of a mention in anything, poor guy).  

When training on Godly play with adults who know the stuff, you can get beyond the talking about the process and how/why it works, to actually wondering together. Lots of my conversations about godly play focus on the first, but it is in wondering  together, in being different and seeing something which at first appears opposite to someone else in the circle, which is where the wonder works on everyone. Someone's thought is offered and it is ok to offer another which follows on, which seems directly contradicting, or is on another tack. There is a respect in the community and a trust in the story which work together. They produce community. A community where people can ask, where no one assumes they know more than another, where people support each other and agree to disagree without that coming to conflict. Where the teacher is as much a learner, genuinely, as the others in the room.  

At the end, one of the circle asked if we could all hug before we left.  We all hugged each other and gave each other some encouragement as we went back to our different church families, schools or other settings to use godly play. That is the amazing power of godly play, you can end a day with strangers being friends, with divides being crossed, with difference being made complete.

Baby boom!

by Matt Hyam on 12 Nov 2007

I have literally lost count of the number of children we now have in our church. I do know that we will have had FIFTEEN born this year!

This is an amazing time. Fruitful, to be sure!

Here's my current struggle, as a parent of two amazing boys.

I can't make it to as much stuff as I used to; and this means that I am not able to get to prayer meetings, or help with support work for CAP or get to help people move so easily or serve others or help them decorate or drop everything to help someone.

I don't turn up on people's doorsteps like I used to; and this means that I don't see anything like as much of my friends as I used to and so I can feel more isolated or unloved or they can feel more isolated and unloved.

Now, I absolutely adore my children and my wife. I think that I have learned more about how much God loves me through them than anything else, so please do not misunderstand me. But here is the thing - we have a church FULL, and I do mean full of people in a similar situation to us.

And that means that most people cannot make it to as much stuff as they used to, and so it is hard to get prayer meetings to happen or get a team of support workers for CAP or get a load of people together to decorate someone's flat or, or, or... Its not that people's spirit's are not willing; its not that the flesh is weak, its just time .

That also means that most people do not turn up on one another's doorsteps any more. Community has always been what we have done best and yet, let's be honest, its not how it used to be! I miss my friends who used to turn up and flop round here or whose house we'd just rock up at for a cuppa. I see single people feeling unloved because the onus is always on them to visit and I see families feeling unloved because their friends are in the same situation that they are in and so no one comes round anymore.

What a depressing picture I have just painted. Actually, its a amazing and exciting and fun to be in the middle of but these couple of things keep nagging at me.

How do we still reach out together and serve together and be an outward facing church, when we have a church full of small children? There are many here who do it really well and the children have been releasing in this. If we are honest, most of them are women and most of it happens in the daytime (and there is NOTHING wrong with that) but what about the men and the stuff that needs to be in the evening?

How do we really, honestly maintain genuine community with our lives in common, when we have a church full of small children? Some of the guys here do it really well, but honestly - most don't (and that includes me) and people are not being loved the way they should.

These are my assumptions:

• Children are not a burden and so they are not a barrier stopping us from being who we should! The kingdom of God is centred around such as these!
• We are called, first, to our family and so we shouldn't be dumping the kids so that we can do "the Lord's" work.
• We have to pray together, we have to reach out together, we have to work together, we have to serve together.
• We have to love one another and live in genuine community.

So how do we do it?

I know that we need to change but that is as far as I have got.

As the deer pants for the water...

by Matt Hyam on 2 Nov 2007

...so my soul longs after you.

But does it? Honestly? Really, truly, hand on heart, no word of a lie?

I am reading the psalms at the moment. Now I like poetry as much as the next man, but I must confess that I'd rather be reading narrative. Anyway, I digress. I read that psalm - and I should be able to quote the reference straight of really. Hang on, I'll o and look it up in order to be holy about it!

Psalm 42.

Rest assured, I know my bible references. That is what is important, you know. They'll be a test when Jesus comes back! aha.

Anyway. I read psalm 42 and I thought,"hmmm, I don't think that I feel like that at the moment." There have been incredible times when I have felt that way but right now, I don't think that I do. And I want to.

I read through some more psalms. I have got to say (well, I haven't but I will, anyway) I am not a big fan of David's psalms. AARRRRGH. You can't say that!

Well, I'm just being honest! I think he's got his head up his backside a bit. Always whinging and complaining and expecting God to get him out of trouble. Its all "me, me, me". If you don't see me again, you'll know that I was struck down by a lightning bolt!

Having said that, what comes up time and time again in his psalms is that he is putting all of his trust in God. That he knows that God will be the one to protect him and get him through.

And then it struck me that I just do not do that. Is prayer my first option? Is Jesus where I go to whinge and moan and kick off - or is it someone else?

Its funny, when we were all praying for Charlie, we knew that there was no other option. We knew that if God didn't do it, then it was not going to happen.

Why oh why oh why, do we need to be brought to the place that we have run out of options before we turn to God. Maybe it is not "we". May be it is just "me"

I keep remembering a song that we used to sing in our early, early days. The first line went:

Give us back our first love, like the love when we first knew

So,thats me right now. I don't want to be so busy doing "God's work" that I miss God. I don't want to be so wrapped up in stuff that I cannot see Jesus. I don't want to find my strength from TV or videos or books or even sleep.

I want to be like a panting deer again!